“Heartache”
Pairing: Aomine X Kise
Fandom: Kuroko no
Basuke
“He’s an
upperclassman from my school. He’s pretty famous. He’s cool and handsome. His
sun-kissed skin and dark blue hair burns an image into my eyes. I would clamp
my arms around him and touch his broad back as he makes love to me. Kissing, sleeping,
and having sex every time he feels like it. I love it all. Yes, I love him to
the point where it’s difficult to breathe. But I always wonder… does he feel
the same?”
Author’s note: guys this is my
first time making a fanfic so sorry if it’s not that good. Please enjoy!
“Aominecchi?
Aomicche? Are you here? I just got back from the club practice. I—“
“Tskk..
Shut up! I’m sleeping.” Aomine grumbled as he pulled the blanket over his body
but for some reason, it felt heavy. He then realized that there was a naked
body of a woman silently sleeping beside him. He looked up to Kise and saw his
hurt face. But as usual, Kise didn’t say a word.
Kise
felt a stab on his chest. That wasn’t an unusual scene ever since they started
dating. Aomine would still play around with women despite having him as a
lover. He averted his gaze and spoke in a low voice. “I—I’ll just go to my apartment
then. I brought you food, I’ll leave it in the refrigerator.” He bit his lips.
Aomine only stared at him as if he didn’t care.
“Do
whatever you want.” He replied and then got back to sleep. Kise suppressed his
emotions. He didn’t want to cry or say a word of protest. It’s fine. It’s not like this is the first time he has done this.
He thought to himself as he went to the kitchen and then, wordlessly left
Aomine’s place. Yet despite how much he bit his lips to control his tears from
falling, it voluntarily left Kise’s beautiful eyes as pain crept up all over
him.
“Aominecchi—Aominecchi—“
Under the cold snow falling, he drowned his sorrow. His heart ached so much yet
he didn’t have the courage to break it off with Aomine. “I don’t want—I don’t
want to.” He muttered hopelessly to the chilly wind.
It
was love at first sight. Funny others might say, but for Kise, he believed that
they were fated for each other. When he transferred to his current school, he
immediately became popular to the girls. He got along with them pretty well and
since he was attractively handsome and easy-going, people would gather around
him. Just like in his previous
school, nothing changed. But then he saw the most popular guy in school. He was
a tall guy with a vibrant tan. At that moment, Kise didn’t know why but he felt
something that he had never felt before. His heart pounded like crazy
and his mind went chaotic. He couldn’t think straight. The only thing clear was
that he wanted to get closer to that young man—Aomine Daiki.
“Kise-kun..Hey,
who are you looking at?” the girl asked with a seductive voice as she clung to
Kise’s arm.
“Ah
sorry, I just thought that guy’s really attractive.” He replied referring to
Aomine as he stare at him again talking with one of the school’s most popular
girls.
“oh!
Aomeni-kun? Yeah..He’s really attractive and cool. It’s no wonder the popular
girls here in school would aim for him. But for me, Kise-kun’s much better than
him.”
“Why
would you say so?” Feeling curios, he asked.
“Well,
maybe you still haven’t heard this since you’re new here but you see, Aomine-kun
is infamous for being a player. But even though he’s like that, girls would
still swarm to him like ants.” The girl pouted, and then smiled at him
enticingly. However, Kise’s attention was again back to the man himself. Aomine
was happily talking to a sexy girl. It was obvious that they were flirting with
each other. Then a moment later, the girl circled her arms around Aomine’s neck
and they kissed shamelessly without even minding the people around. In
jealousy, the girl with Kise started to talk bad about the scene but her voice
was drowned over Kise’s thoughts.
“I want to be the one kissing you like
that.”Kise finally made a decision.
Aomine
languidly opened his locker and found a small paper in it.
“Please
see me after school. I’ll wait at the back of the gym.” It says. He became
curious.
“What
is it Aomine? Another love confession?” his classmate jokingly asked. “Make
sure not to make another woman cry!”
“haha!
Idiot, it’s their choice if they cry or not. After all, they wanted it.” He
calmly replied with a playful smile. Aomine’s affairs were never a secret. If
he’d get a new girl, the news about it would spread like a wild fire. . It was
like everybody’s business whoever he goes out with. And as if nothing matters to him, he’d left it
as it was. Even the break ups and the girls who’ve cried over him.
“Then
I’ll be off and make another woman my own.” They both laughed.
When
he arrived at the said meeting place, Aomine was surprised to see a guy waiting
for him instead of a girl. He got confused and with an angry tone he said.
“What’s this? Are you making fun of me?”
“I—I’m
the one who wrote the note.” He was stammering.
“So?
Now you’re telling me you wanted to confess to me?” A glint of irritation
appeared on his face.
The
guy’s face turned red. He was shorter than Aomine so he was looking down on
him. Aomine could see the trembling of the body in front of him.
“I—I
really like you Aomine-san. Since the first time I saw you, I’ve been looking
at you. I know you feel gross being confessed to by a guy like me but—but if
you’re fine with it…Will you go out with me?”
Silence.
As
Aomine weighed his thoughts, he couldn’t avoid his eyes from the person in
front of him. He knew this guy. He remembered when the school started there was
a transfer student who got the attention of the students. It was because of his
handsome face and fun personality. It’s
unexpected to be confessed by a guy but for this guy to be the one confessing
is a bit more unexpected than that.
“What’s your
name?”
“Kise—Kise
Ryouta.”
“Well
then Kise, since I don’t currently have a girlfriend…I’ll go out with you. But
of course, we’ll keep this relationship a secret. I’m not gay you know.”
“Of—of
course Aomine-san! Thank you! I’m so happy!” Kise happily said and smiled. It
was a very sweet smile that Aomine blushed when he saw it.
Tch—that was
uncalled for. Well, it’s not bad to try a relationship with this guy I guess.
I’ll just break it off when I don’t feel like it anymore.
“Aomine-san..”
“What?”
“Can
I call you Aominecchi?”
“Tskk..Why’s
that? Well whatever! Do what you want.”
Their
days of being lovers went on smoothly. Everybody was surprised to see Kise and
Aomine together, but then later on they got used to it. It was like a feast for
their eyes seeing two popular and handsome guys together. Nobody suspected that
there was something more than friendship going on between them. Every day was a
happy day for Kise.
“Kise-kun,
lately you’ve been hanging around Aomine-kun and it seems that the infamous
player seems to be keeping lay low right now. I wonder why?” A classmate asked.
Kise looked at her and wondered what she wanted to know.
“Eh?
Well, I wonder why as well.” Kise answered evasively. Ever since Kise started
going out with Aomine, there were a lot of girls wanting to get near him. It
was because they wanted to get Aomine’s attention. Kise knew that very well.
“But
you’re always together. You must know something right?” the girl came nearer to
him. She was purposely making Kise see her cleavage. Kise felt his stomach
churn.
“Seriously,
I don’t know. Ask him yourself.” Kise then started to walk away. Girls really are scary. They make me want to
puke. Tsk—as if I’d let them near him. But then a realization hit him.
Aomine wasn’t gay. And he himself wasn’t one as well in the first place.
Falling for Aomine was Kise’s first time with a guy. There was always a
possibility that Aomine would choose a girl over him. Even though they’ve
already been dating for a month, they still haven’t done anything special. They
hang together just like usual friends would do.
“Come
to think of it, we’ve never even kissed even though it’s already been a month. We’ve only walked together to the bus stop
and have lunch together and do normal stuffs.”
“Hey
kise!”
Kise
was absentmindedly talking to himself that he didn’t hear Aomine calling him.
“Should
I make the first move? But he might think I’m gross or something.”
“Hey
Kise! What are you muttering by yourself out here? And what’s with the worried
face?” Aomine probed. He came to pick Kise so they could leave the school
together.
Ahh! I don’t care anymore!”Aominecchi,
do you want to come over?” I mean, I feel like cooking so let’s eat together
tonight.” Kise smiled.
“Well,
I’m free tonight so I guess its fine.”
“Aominecchi”
Kise crawled on top of him while he was seating on the sofa in Kise’s
apartment.
“Hey
Kise! What are you doing?” Aomine reflexively pushed Kise.
“I—I
want to kiss you”
“What?
What are you saying all of a sudden??”
“We’re
lovers right? So it’s fine right?” Kise lowered his eyes. He seemed to be embarrassed
of what he just said. But at that moment, he was afraid that Aomine might hate
him for acting recklessly.
“Come
on Kise, won’t it gross you out? I mean, we’re both guys and—“he stopped what
he was saying when he saw Kise’s upset face. He was almost about to cry. For a
person like Kise who’d always smile, it was the very first time Aomine saw that
expression. There was something seductive in that reaction. He grabbed his wrist
and then pulled him towards his body. Circling his arms around Kise’s body, he
kissed him hungrily. Kise was taken aback—it was an unexpected kiss from Aomine
and now he found himself responding to it. The kiss became deeper, persistent
and hot. Kise had no answer for these sensations. Aomine didn’t know why he was
kissing Kise that way. But one thing was sure for the both of them. They wanted
more.
After
the passionate kiss they’ve shared, both headed towards Kise’s room and
stumbled naked on top of the king-sized bed. Their lips felt like it didn’t
want to part from each other. It was strange for Aomine. Having sex with a
woman was common for him but for some reason, even though the body he was
holding at the moment felt hard against his palms, he couldn’t stop himself. His
palm gently crawled from Kise’s chest down to his abdomen.
“Aominecchi”
he called out as his body shivered.
“Shhh…”
Aomine
clasped his hand around Kise’s twitching member and started to pleasure him. He
was erotically turned on just by watching Kise’s face contorted with pleasure.
Their heated breathes blended together as one.
“Ao—Aominecchi..Lube..”
Embarrassed, Kise’s face went red. It’s
good that I prepared it beforehand. He thought.
“Where?”
“There
inside the drawer of the bed side table.”
Aomine
quickly took the lube and put it on his fingers. He slowly pushed one inside
Kise and massaged it. “How’s this? Does it hurt? It should work out the same as
with women right?”
“uhnn—I
don’t know. This is my first time. Hurts—hurts a little.” Kise’s brow glistened
with sweat. He moaned as he grasped the bed sheets. He couldn’t believe that he
was doing it with Aomine—making love with his beloved person. He was happy, so
happy that he didn’t care how much it would hurt him.
“I
think its fine now. I’m going in.”
He
braced himself for the coming pain he would feel yet despite how much he prepared
his self, the pain was too much. “Uhggg—ahhh—uhnnn”. Eyes closed, his throat
stifled a moan as Aomine’s member sank inside him like fangs. He was burning
with pain and pleasure.
Aomine’s
hardness felt hot and tight inside him and then as he thrust against Kise’s
vitals, his body shivered as unfamiliar feelings took hold of his body. It was
so tight yet as Kise compressed on him, the pleasure enveloped his whole mind, and
it felt like nothing he had experienced before.
“Ahh—fuck—Kise,
you’re so tight.”
“Ahhnn—ahhh—aahh—hhnnnn..Aominecchi—I—I
love you” droplets of tears fell from Kise’s eyes as his face reddened. Aomine
continued to move on top of him. Much harder and faster. The bliss was too much
to bear. He licked his lips. This is sex
with a man. Sex with Kise. He hazily thought.
“Ahhh—ahhh—ahhhnn—hah!!
In truth, Kise was hurting really bad. It was his first time yet Aomine
couldn’t control his desires and was moving like a wild beat inside him. But
despite the raging pain he felt, the view of Aomine’s pleasured face was enough
for him to endure everything.
His
body arched as unknown paroxysm of fervor escalated his body. Little by little,
something was feeling different. His moans became more erotic and he couldn’t
control the scorching heat creeping all over him. “Nnngghh!” Aomine bit his ear
and in a hoarse voice, whispered. “You’re so good!”
Nothing
felt more blissful than hearing Aomine praised him for the first time. He had
always longed for his affection and ever since they started dating, that was
the first time they were lover-like. I’m
so happy. Kise thought to himself. As their bodies continued to move with
the rhythm of pleasure, intoxicating passion held them captive. The sensuality
of their connected bodies was almost reaching its climax. “Ahhhh!” Aomine
groaned. His body shivered and in the hitch of his euphoric state, white radiant
liquid made its way out of his member. Soon after, Kise came as well, trickling
it all over his white abdomen.
Neither
of them made a sound for a moment. Only ragged breathing echoed all over the
whole room. And then, as if he had just woken up from a trance, Aomine quickly
got up and headed towards the bathroom.
After
the first time came the second and then the third until Kise couldn’t count
anymore how many times Aomine held him. It was always wild and rough. Aomine
seemed to like it that way. Kise never complained. Was it because he liked it
that way as well? No. if Kise could, he wanted Aomine to make love with him in
a gentler way sometimes. But he never did. Though he never hated rough sex with
Aomine, he occasionally would imagine what tender sex with Aomine would be
like. The truth is that the only time when he could feel that Aomine’s
completely his was during sex. He would even do it with him every day if Aomine
just wished for it.
There
was a rumor circulating around the entire school. People talked about how
Aomine had already gotten someone and was keeping it a secret from everybody.
This started because he has been without women lately. Almost two months to be
exact. Everybody, as usual was curious as to the reason why. For the infamous
player to stop screwing with girls for that length of time, it felt like a lie
to them. In Kise’s heart though, since most of the time they were together, it
was happiness. However that happiness came crumbling down short after when the
rumor broadened, Aomine was seen flirting with someone outside the school
grounds.
“So
maybe that’s the reason then? He got tired of school girls so now he’s into
older women?”
“waaah!
That might be it! And maybe all this time he’s with different women outside the
school!”
“eh?!
That’s so disappointing. And here I thought I could get him to sleep with me
soon enough too.”
“Idiot!
That’s impossible! Did you see those girls he just threw away after having
them? They’re so pretty that it’s a waste!”
“Hey
that’s mean! I know they’re all way above my level but I’m pretty too you
know!”
“hahaha!
Yeah yeah—let’s go and display our beauties then!”
The
girls left giggling. After hearing their conversation, Kise felt cold chills. He had heard the rumor and nonchalantly
shrugged it off since he was with Aomine and during those times, he wasn’t with
any girls. But then hearing about him with a woman outside their school was total
news to him. He never considered it happening. He was confident enough that he
has completely secured his place beside Aomine. Since he never heard of him
chasing girls’ skirts at school, he thought that Aomine became all his alone, that
Aomine would not betray him and that he loved him.
“Love?”
his hands formed into a fist. “He loves me?” his body shook. “hah!hahaha!” he
gasped. “He—he never even said—even once—he never said that he loved me.” Tears
trickled down his eyes as he tried to control his muffling sobs with his
shivering hand. It was even hard to stand up straight. The pain in his heart as
the realization hit him hard was unfathomable. Like being drowned into a dark
body of water that he couldn’t breathe, the heartache was too much to bear.
“hey—are
you alright?” one of his concerned classmate asked.
“Im—I’m
alright.” He managed to answer. Then without a second thought, he ran as fast
as he could as he went off to that place.
“huff—huff—huff—“
Kise desperately rang the doorbell. He had a key but in the midst of confusion
and anxiousness, he seemed to have forgotten about it completely. Aomine had
given him a key to his apartment and for quite a while now, Kise could freely
go in and out of that place as much as he liked. It was one of the reasons why
his confidence was high.
“What
the fuck—“ Aomine’s irritated voice followed after the door opened with a bang.
When he saw that it was Kise, he was a bit surprised. But then his face
switched into an angry expression and with a harsh voice he chased him away.
“What
the fuck are you doing here? I thought you’re at school?!”
Startled,
he cowered. He seemed to have gotten his senses back a little.
“Go
home!” Aomine continued. “I don’t have time for you today. I want to sleep.”
“Then
I’ll just wait for you to wake up. I’ll cook you dinner and—and there’s something
I want to talk with you—but I’ll wait so just let me stay here until you wake
up.”
“What?
Didn’t you hear what I just said? I said go away.”
“Why
are you being like this today? You won’t even let me enter your—wait, are you
hiding something from me?”
“Huh?”
“You
do have someone in there, don’t you? That’s why you won’t even let me in!” Kise
asked desperately. He got a bad feeling about the situation. For Aomine to be
chasing him away there should be a deeper reason why. And he must know about it.
As mixed emotions flooded him, he couldn’t tell anymore what was exactly
governing his self at the moment.
He
tried to forcibly enter the apartment but Aomine wouldn’t even budge. His
suspicions were like being answered with the way Aomine’s resisting him. Just
by then he noticed a red mark on his neck that the collar barely hid. He
grabbed Aomine’s collar and in his great horror, the newly made kiss marks
confirmed his doubts.
“What
the hell is the meaning of this?!” Kise unthinkably exclaimed. He couldn’t
believe what he just saw. It felt like everything went crushing down on him.
His grip tightened on Aomine’s collar. But what he saw on his lover’s face was
nothing but unconstrained coldness.
Aomine
slapped his hand away. “None of your business.” He heartlessly said. There
wasn’t even a bit of concern on Aomine’s face. Like he didn’t care what Kise
would feel.
Kise
was stunned. What happened to the two months they were together? He wondered.
As Kise fell in love with Aomine more and more, did Aomine even feel love
towards him? Arguing with him was pointless. Seeing Aomine’s indifferent face
as he pushed him and closed the door on his face was enough for him to conclude
that his feelings didn’t reach him. He felt so pitiful. When was it? When did
he fell so much in love that he couldn’t even dare to hate him? That despite of
what happened; there was only pain and no hatred? When did he become so weak?
Nothing could be done anymore. His heart had hopelessly and tenaciously gave in
to his love for that man.
Was it because I’m a man? I couldn’t satisfy
him? He couldn’t come to love me because I don’t look sexy and fragile like a woman?
Was it because I’m not good enough? What should I do? I don’t want to lose him.
I love him too much—too much.”
Dejectedly,
he slowly walked away from that place. Every step felt so heavy. He knew that
if he wouldn’t leave there, his suffering would just worsen and so, with his aching
heart, Kise walked without minding the starting heavy rain.
Nobody
would think that behind Kise’s cheerful smiles hid a broken soul. As per his
usual face, nothing changed. But deep inside him, he was suffering. Loneliness
embraced him and his mind felt numb. Maintaining his happy façade had never
been so hard. However, despite of what happened, he didn’t break it off with
Aomine. And Aomine didn’t raise the idea as well. For the reason why, Kise
didn’t know.
They
maintained their relationship the same as before. After the first incident, no
complaint came from Kise. And Aomine continued to play around with women.
Nevertheless, he still did it with Kise. Soon after, the news of the great players’
comeback started spreading around the campus. Girls again started to flock
around him and Kise could only watch in misery.
But
time would come for patience to finally run out. Limit existed on everything.
“Stop
it!” Kise pushed Aomine away. He was trying to pin Kise down on the bed. For
the first time, Kise rejected his advances.
“What?”
“I
don’t want it.” He calmly refused, turning his eyes away from him.
“Now
now…quit being sissy. I want it now.” He hotly kissed Kise’s neck and made his
way under Kise’s clothes. But before he could completely open Kise’s pants, his
hand was slapped away. Startled, Aomine stopped and angrily pulled back.
“What
the fuck is wrong with you?” Aomine irritatingly exclaimed. Kise didn’t
respond. Again, Aomine tried to kiss his lips but much to his irritation, Kise
covered his mouth. In Aomine’s annoyance, he unthinkably tore Kise’s shirt and
grabbed his arms. He tied them on the bed’s headboard. Kise couldn’t move. With
his wrist bonded together, resistance was futile.
“What
are you doing?! Untie me!”
“Just
shut up and let me do the work!”
“I
said I don’t want it! Get off me!” The grip of the cloth on his wrists felt hot
on his skin. But he didn’t stop struggling.
“Stop
it! You’re hurting yourself!”
“You’re
the one hurting me!” Kise’s voice trembled. Head hung, he stopped moving. Then
tears started to flow from his eyes. When Aomine saw this, he stiffened. He had
never seen Kise cry before despite all the things he did. Even though he had
already betrayed Kise countless of times, he would only show a pained
expression. Never did Kise show such a fragile state. Not until now. The
beautiful Kise, who would still smile for him, who would still love him and
care for him after all the heartaches he caused, the one who never left him
despite all the betrayals he did, was now in front of him crying like a pitiful
baby. Glistening tears poured like waterfall. Soft whimpers escaped from his
lips. Aomine froze for a moment. He couldn’t say anything. Then, Kise spoke.
“Don’t
kiss me with your lips that just kissed someone else’. Don’t hold me with your
arms that just held a woman. Don’t touch me—don’t touch me anymore. I‘ve had
enough. I can’t do this anymore Aominecchi. I’m so sorry. I can’t anymore—“
Kise’s
words felt heavy on Aomine’s ears. The words he just uttered echoed all over
his mind. Shocked, he could only stare at the person who was helplessly crying
in front of him. They had been together for almost a year. Kise had always been
beside him, smiling. But now, Kise wished to break up with him.
“All
this time—“ Kise continued. “I loved you all this time. I thought I could
endure anything as long as you don’t leave me. I thought we could always be
happy together. I always forgave you even though you were playing around with different
women because I know, in the end of the day, you would come back to me.” His
words were drowning in his sobs. But Aomine could hear them completely. “When you agreed to go out with me, I was so
happy. In fact, I felt like the happiest person in the world. Every day with
you was happiness. However, together with that feeling was heartache as well.”
“hic—hic—hic”
Kise’s cries felt like it would never end. He was trembling in despair.
“Aominecchi, I’m in so much pain. That’s why, even though I love you so much—I
have to leave you. If I don’t, it’ll be too late.” No, it’s already too late. “My heart can’t take it anymore.” I feel like a fool. “This relationship
is over.” I can’t hold this love anymore.
I’m totally broken.
Aomine
was speechless. He understood the seriousness in Kise’s words. Without second
thought, he released Kise’s hands and then moved his body away from him. When
Kise finally faced him, he couldn’t comprehend Aomine’s facial expression. What was I hoping for? He silently
laughed at his self. There’s no way
Aomine would stop me. The game is finally over and I lost. I’m the fool in this
love game.
Their
heart never met. Their feelings were different. That was why the relationship never
survived. It was hard to accept yet Kise realized that halfway. Trapped by the
delusion called love, Kise was bound by the feelings he felt towards Aomine.
Blinded by the hope for happiness, he endured everything. But never once did
Aomine say the words he wanted to hear. The only confirmation that, within
those months they were together, he existed in his beloved’s heart.
But
now, after all that was said and done, there was nothing to regret anymore. The
fact that Aomine didn’t even say a word only proved the end of everything. As
Kise straightened his disheveled clothes and lifelessly walked away, Aomine
only stared blankly at his back until it disappeared from his sight.
Kise
had already left his place for quite some time. But Aomine remained standing
and vacantly staring at nothingness. His mind refused to think of what just
happened. For he knew, he was fully aware of the pain Kise felt. Nothing could
be denied. It was entirely his fault.
They
reached that far because of Kise’s patience and love. Without it, they wouldn’t
even have that kind of relationship from the start. Because of Kise’s feelings
for him, he had the courage to confess and build such connection with Aomine. But
he took him for granted. Made him suffer and pushed him to break off the
relationship. Aomine, who had never felt such strong emotions, would never
understand. Or so he thought. Because he had never considered falling in love
with a person, he didn’t know what it really felt like. And he wouldn’t know
what to do about it.
As
time passed by, sensations started creeping up Aomine’s insides. He felt his body losing its life and he
staggered. Feeling the shivering of his hands, he took it in front of him. Then
he noticed the droplets of liquid falling from his eyes. It surprised him. Not
long after, he finally understood everything. In resignation, he muttered.
“I’m
sorry Kise, for not loving you properly.”
