This is an original short boy's love story I made. Enjoy reading! :>
The
room was already filled with my noisy classmates chattering about their long
vacation when I arrived. Semester break has just ended and here we are again
preparing for the second semester of our 2nd year life in college.
Nothing changed; the ambience with us gathered around was still as lively as I
could remember. Compared to some of my friends, I’m a little timid and
sensitive but though we had different personalities, being with them gave me
self-confidence. I’m happy though there’s something deep inside me, a hole that
has been there for I don’t know how long already. What would it be that could
fill up this hole and make me complete?
As
I sat in my seat, I noticed some of my classmates were surrounding someone and
happily giggling.
“It’s
a transfer student. He already attracted the class’ attention since he arrived
this morning. On top of that, he’s cute. Hmmm. No. Drop-dead gorgeous was the
right word. ” My friend Jae said chuckling.
Out
of curiosity, I unconsciously turned towards the direction of the newcomer, and
then suddenly in an instant, our eyes met. In a split of seconds, it felt like
the world around us went black and there were only two of us. I couldn’t
understand the feelings that rushed through my whole entity. The mysterious
dark eyes of the stranger captivated me. Am I the only one who felt the
mystique within that person? Then unexpectedly, he smiled enchanting every
nerves of my body making my blood rushed to my cheeks. My heart pounded crazily
it could have wrecked my chest. That was very insane. How could my system react
that way towards a stranger and on top of that, a descendant of Adam?
I
didn’t know that that was just the start of the cartwheel turn of events of my
somewhat plain life.
“So,
we should first consider the basics. Let’s start gathering ideas and then we’ll
wrap it up for the concept paper. This isn’t going to be easy since I think
that obviously we have different themes in mind. What do you think? Should we
follow yours?” Nick asked. He was standing behind me leaning forward; his face
was so near mine that I could hear the rhythm of his breathing.
“N—no,
I— I think it’s more creative if we merge our ideas. That might be a little
difficult but I believe we—we could do it.” I stammered as I tried to calm
myself. Being near him overwhelmed me. I still could not believe that this
person talked to me in an unconstrained manner and on top of that, he’s my
partner.
“Haha!
That’s a good idea! I should do my research now, see yah later!” he conceded as
he smiled charmingly that could melt anyone just by a glimpse of it. The
undeniable exquisiteness and charisma he possessed couldn’t be compared to
anyone I knew. Before he left, he nuzzled my hair giving me shivers. My cheeks
burned in embarrassment, he has been like that since the moment we exchanged names
and I couldn’t bring myself to act normally around him.
I
could still remember clearly, how that gentle hands first touched a part of me
that same day of his being a transfer student.
“Hey,
I’m Nick the new student. What’s your name?” he asked. I didn’t noticed him
approaching for I was so occupied solving a sample problem from the book. I was
surprised for the unexpected notice he’d given me. I froze for a moment and
timidly replied.
“Sean—I’m
Sean.”
“Nice
name. hmm. Your hair— I wanna touch it.” Without waiting for my consent, he
touched my hair admiringly, tracing it up to the tip. The moment I felt the
warmth of his hands against my hair, an unknown emotion crept up to me.
“I
like your hair, it’s a little long but it suits you.” again, he smiled with his
dark mysterious eyes gleaming. I couldn’t read what his expressions wanted to convey.
The vagueness he had been emitting prevented me to understand what those
enticing smile meant that it left me flabbergasted.
Starting
that day, he kept on shortening the distance we had each day. He didn’t seem to
be a transfer student at all, the way he talked and seek out for my attention,
everytime he nuzzled my hair, his body language and all. It seems like he was
acting that way only towards me, or am I misunderstanding things?
I
just couldn’t abate my gaze everytime those thin lips of him curl to an
intoxicating smile. It gave me little shivers when those eyes of him met mine,
the electricity he transmits as he gently nuzzle my hair swirling it to his
soft fingertips and the heart racing voice he have while he talked, all of him
confuses and at the same time enthralls my
whole being.
God, please help me. I don’t know what to do
anymore. I feel like I’m going to melt as these unknown emotions keep devouring
my consciousness.
One
month passed by quickly and at the same time, a friendship swiftly developed
between the two of us. What brought this relationship to its state were because
of the time we spent together during school days. Our project collaboration
that we’d done successfully, his continuous pestering for me to keep his
company which I found rather amusing, those times he enjoyably nuzzled my hair
that always sent cascading happiness to me secretly, and a lot of things that
even I couldn’t believe it had been happening.
“Hey,
Sean, I really envy you for being able to freely hang around Nick. My, he’s so
obsessed with you. We can’t even get half of the attention he gives to
you.” Jae pouted.
“Idiot—what
do you mean? It’s not like I’m asking him to do so.”
“Yeah,
yeah. You changed too, but in a better perspective though. You smile a lot now
and enjoy the things around you especially when you’re with him. Both of you
stands out a lot, and looks good together.”
“Really?”
Her words made me smile.
“Hmmm.
If you’re not a guy I might think both of you were an item.” She joked while
eliciting a teasing smile.
“Dummy!
That’s so impossible. Quit it already!” we both laughed. But the thought of us
being an item gave me a warm feeling though it was abruptly changed to
coldness. It’s impossible. I thought.
The
benches situated at the rear of our school building became our hang out place.
We spend our free times together at one of those benches but unlike how others
spent it, we didn’t drink alcohol or use cigarettes. He would play PSP while I
read books. Sometimes, he would sleep with my lap as his pillow. These were the
times I treasured most for I could watch him unreservedly while his in deep
slumber.
“Hey,
I told you not to use my lap as your pillow. It might be fine for you but it
looks weird for others. They might get the wrong idea.” I scolded but deep
inside, I was pleasurably feeling the moment.
“Nah!
I don’t really care. Just let them think what they want.” He paused and
suddenly sulked. “Does it bother you when I sleep in your lap? Or are you more
bothered of what people might think?”He sulked like a baby while snuggling at
my lap giving me a tingling sensation. I tried to hide the joy inside me and
calmly abated my eyes.
“It’s
not like that. Any of it doesn’t bother me at all.” The sense of relief came to
his face after hearing my assurance. He gently smiled and a moment later, he drifted
to sleep.
How I wish for time to stop so we could
always be like this. My chest feels like burning with the flames of happiness.
Is this feeling what I’ve been looking for? The one that could fill the hole
inside of me?
The
next month of our growing friendship was crazier that the previous one. Our
bond reaches to the point were seeing each other became our daily routine. I
never thought I could be so attached to a person like this. During weekdays at
school and weekends at either of our apartment, we were inseparable. We usually
watched movies during weekends and make our assignments and projects together.
Even though he’s a kind of a loud person, I surprisingly found studying with
him more comfortable. With my world turning rosy and dreamy, my heart just kept
on asking for more. Something even I myself couldn’t identify.
If
all of this were nothing but a dream, I wouldn’t let myself wake up for this
was something I just couldn’t give up.
“Hey
Sean! Wake up! Psssst!”
“Uhmmm…
“
“If
you’re not gonna wake up now, we’re going to be late!”
“What
the?—did I fell asleep?” I mumbled as I rub my eyes with my fingers.
“Uh.
Yeah. It’s morning already. You didn’t even finish the movie last night. I’m
going to shower first, good thing I brought my uniform with me yesterday.” Nick
quickly strode towards the bathroom half-naked. It’s crazy but my eyes were
locked staring at his beautifully sculpted back. Then abruptly, he looked my
way and smirked.
“What?
You found me sexy?”
“I—idiot!”
My cheeks burned in embarrassment and I threw a pillow towards him to hide my
reddening face. With a loud laugh, he ducked and entered the bathroom
instantly. I could feel the flush in my whole face while still hearing his
melodious laughter.
“Shit!
My heart almost jumped out my chest! This is bad, so fucking bad.” I mumbled as
I rose up to fix our breakfast. As usual, I prepared his favorite food, sunny
side up with pork tocino and dried fish again while still in deep thoughts. The
foods were all set in the table when I heard him calling my name. I hurried
upstairs as I answered his call.
“Yes?
What is it?
“I
forgot to bring the towel, could you please get it for me?”
“Okay.
And oh, breakfast’s ready.” I looked for his towel in his bag and took it to
him in the bathroom, and then suddenly his cellphone rang. Without thinking, he
rapidly opened the door and in front of me was his shiny wet body all naked and
dazzling. It was an intense scene that the shock made my hand move swiftly
giving him a hard shove and losing his balance but before he could fall in the
white tiled floor, he unthinkingly grabbed my hand ending us both stumbled with
each other.
“Waa—waaaaah!
What are you doing! Get off me! Get off me!" I screamed on top of my lungs
panicking. Our position was so uncomfortable that my mind was in chaos and I
could feel my body reacting at the same time.
“Ow—ouch!
I bumped my head! Hey, quit it. You’re tearing my ears. And you should be the
one to get off me. You’re the one on top.” He grinned in a teasing manner.
Realizing
our indecent position, I quickly moved my body away from him. “Oppps! Sorry.”
The
cellphone rang again and he quickly got up. He took the towel from me then left
the bathroom massaging his head and with a sorry in a middle of a huge smile.
Still
in a stunned state, I sat in the wet floor in the midst of shaking as the image
of his naked body kept replaying in my head. Then suddenly I felt my blood
rushed to my groin and in awe, I looked down.
“What?
. . .I’m up?”
That
day, I was in total despair that I ended up being scolded by the teacher repeatedly
for not paying attention to the class.
A
few days had pass since that incident and Nick seemed troubled. I doubted that
it was because of the bathroom incident that he’s acting that way. A rationale
came up to me that the cause of it might be that phone call since I noticed his
change of mood after answering the call. Asking him appeared to be as a bad
idea so I kept my questions to myself. However, fear was in my heart for an
unknown reason. Then one ordinary day while we were in our hang out place, he gave
me a book.
“What’s
this?” I asked in a puzzled tone and stare at his face then once again, I saw
his dark mysterious eyes that in a split second I thought were conveying
something to me.
“Hahaha!
A book of course!” He replied lightheartedly.
“Dummy!
I’m asking why you’re giving this to me. I can see that it’s a book of course.
I’m surprised that you even own one.”
“Well,
I just thought that the title’s interesting so I bought it. It’s been with me
for some time now.”
“Eh?
The title?” Confused, I read the book’s title. “SOLIFORM—eh? Soliform means resembling the sun or sunlike right?”
He
charmingly smiled and said. “Yeah, for me you’re just like the title of that
book, a sun that lights up my everyday shining and giving me energy with my day
to day life.”
“Hahaha!
You’re corny you know!” However, it honestly made me so happy hearing those
words from him. I didn’t voice that out. For what reason, I didn’t know.
He
chuckled. “I wanna sleep.” My lap became his pillow just like the usual but
before he totally closes his eyes, I noticed something. “For a moment I thought I saw a deep sadness in his eyes.” I spoke
silently.
“Sean!—Hey
Sean! Let’s go. You’re sleeping again! Hmmmp! Being a smart ass seems so easy
to you that you even just sleeps in classes. Hurry up! We need to catch up with
the library; it’s going to close in a few minutes.”
I
opened my eyes languidly as I straighten myself in my seat. A few seconds and reality became evident as
Jae’s banters kept hurting my ears. A deep sigh escaped my system as I mumbled.
“That
dream again. I keep having the same dream for some time now.”
“What
did you just say?” Jae demanded.
“Nothing.
Let’s go. I’m hungry; I wanna eat sunny side up with tocino and dried fish
after we finished borrowing books in the Library.”
“Hahahaha!
It’s gonna be dinner soon and you wanna eat breakfast foods?”
“I
just missed eating those. I’ve been eating noodles every breakfast for a while
now.”
“Man—that
sucks!” She laughed as my thoughts wander deep within me. My dream made me
remember about the past again. The bittersweet feeling of the past seemed to be
still lingering.
It’s
been two years since the day that I felt like my world crumbled to my feet. A
weekend after the day he gave me the book, I waited for him to happily call and
say that he’ll gonna crash in my place again. I waited and waited but no call
from him came. At first it didn’t bothered me. But then Monday came, I was
ready to banter him for not coming or even calling me the day before but he
didn’t appear. I tried calling him but the phone line had been cut. Not knowing
what to do, I waited until the end of the day with the thought of him just
scheming something to make fun of me. Sunset came and there were no signs of
Nick. The next day I inquired at the registrar’s office only to find out that
he had already dropped out from the school the week before. Devastation along
with the pain of treachery succumbed my entire self as I mourn the loss of him.
I lost my will and energy to go to school and I stayed in my apartment for
almost a week still waiting for the impossible to come, for Nick to come back
to me. I wept, spaced out and even tried calling him repeatedly. The helpless
me then realized what Nick was to me. He was my beloved. The one I had been
searching for to fill the hole inside of me, and with the relationship we had,
perhaps Nick felt the same way as well. Why did he have to disappear? Why did
he leave me behind? Those were the questions left unanswered as the empty days
pass and the pain of unrealized love burdened my heart. After sometime, I
finally decided to clear my mind and go to school. As I tidied my things, a book
slipped in my bag and fell on the floor with a bang. I almost forgot about the
book he gave me, I slowly sat on the floor and reached for the book, flipped it
and read it. Immersed in the story and the nostalgic feelings it brought, I
decided to skip school again and continue reading the only solid remembrance
Nick left behind.
Soliform,
it was a story of two lovers who were so in love with each other. It was a
forbidden love and both families were against the relationship. The couple
fought for their love for each other and just like the living things in the
world that couldn’t exist without the sun, they couldn’t exist without each
other. One was the sun of the other, the source of life and warmth, the center
of their life just like the sun as the center of the universe. They portrayed
each other as the sun of their life.
I
cried like a baby when I had read a phrase from the book so similar to what Nick
said.
“Just like the sun in the wide vast sky, you
shine so beautifully and enchantingly. You gave me life in my everyday and
energy as I live my way. Without you, I’ll be in dark misery together with my
heart as it breaks away. So my love,
please don’t part from me, be the Soliform and light me as I walk the blackness
of life with thee.”
After
reading that phrase, the face of Nick appeared in my eyes with his alluring
smile as the sweet words of that day rang in my ears. Tears begun to flow as
pain pierced my heart like a sharp knife. I continued to read the book with
trembling hands and as I reached the end, Nick’s handwriting appeared before my
very eyes. In a short phrase, he conveyed to me his true feelings.
“The
Soliform of my life—Sean. The moment you read this, I won’t be around anymore
but I want to tell you my true feelings. I love you with all my heart just like
how Sean feels too. J”
With
those words, I wept filling my empty room with my loud cries. For those times
with my unrealized passion towards him, he had already discovered my true
feelings for him. Yes, I loved him with all my heart and maybe even now I still
do. It’s been two years without any signs of him coming back. What might be the
reason of his sudden disappearance, I still didn’t know. He never once said
anything about his past nor his family. Perhaps it was because he had an ugly
past or maybe he just didn’t want me to know anything at all. Whatever it was,
it didn’t matter now.
“Sean!—Sean!
You’re spacing out again!” Jae’s voice woke me in my deep thoughts.
“And
you’re too loud Jae.”
“Hmmmp!
It’s because your mind kept on wandering somewhere. Let me see the books you
borrowed.”
“Here,
just don’t take it with you.”
“Okay,
I won’t.—Sean, let me look at that one too!” She pointed at the inside of my
bag as I took the books out.
“I
always see that in your bag. Don’t tell me you still haven’t finished reading
it?” Jae asked. I took the book out and held it to her.
“Soliform?
Weird title.”
“It
means resembling the sun or sunlike.” I answered.
“Oh~
it looks old but interesting.”
“Yeah.
. You should look for your Soliform person soon Jae.” With a smile, I
whispered.
“What?”
She perplexedly asked.
“Hmmm?
Nothing.”
For
that short time, Nick became the sun of my life. With his presence and warmth,
everything around me became bright and lively. The sunlike Nick became the
center of my life and his disappearance made my life dark and empty. However,
the memories we shared served as my guide to pass through that dark path
enabling the broken me to gather my pieces and start again.
In
my thoughts, the hope of him coming back or me finding another to love in the
future still lingered. However, what I’m so sure was that deep in my heart,
there’s only one brightest Soliform in my life, Nick.
How
about you, have you found that someone who resembled the sun in your life? Have
you found your Soliform?
